Montrer Ses Plaies

by VVN

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about

You were my addiction, your love fit so high until our pens mispelt l o v e. Turning the pages we let the river flow seperately, still i wish you were with me. Wishful thinking is far from enough, i went far enough to ease your absence in the arms of another until i asked you to wait for me. Time waits for no man, so i go from rebound to rebound hoping to catch a point to equalise these scars. Playing a game where we all lose, i dont love me for me, how can i expect you to? I exceed my own decline and find the truth behind my pain. Back to the beginning i walk with pride, dont forget to remember where love lives. I will wait...for You.

credits

released August 11, 2015

JP Styla - Rebound
KZ - Fits So High, Wait For You
Melodic Beats & Soli Keyz - Wait for me, Wish You Were With Me

Kayne West - Addiction ( Addiction)

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about

VVN London, UK

23 year old singer/songwriter and spoken word artist from North London.
Vivienne has been a performing and recording artist for almost four years, performing abroad and within Greater London at venues such as The Primo Bar, Westfield, Troy Bar and others. She has also supported acts such as Rachel Kerr and shared line ups with acts such as Wretch 32, Chip and Moelogo. ... more

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Track Name: Addiction (Intro)
Baby, please stay with me
I know I'm crazy, but only I can make you say (you make me smile with my heart)

Watching the whirlwinds spin on summer days
I close my eyes and visualize a paradise, I'm safe
Then I see your face
(you make me smile)

I can't forget the day you came to me
Wrapped in perfection, under a forbidden tree
You walked away, but still I can't deny
(you make me smile)

Is this addiction? My actions prove unsafe
All out of character depending on this case
Can't piece the puzzle, all that is can be is
(you make me smile with my heart)

With my heart, you make me smile
But it seems I only love you for a while
At times it's hard to say
(you make me smile)

Wrapped in passion, love echos off the walls
Dying at your love, crying out for more
When the seas are calm and I collapse into your arms
(you make me smile)

Baby, please stay with me
I know I'm crazy, but only I can make you say (you make me smile with my heart)
Track Name: Love Fits So High
First Verse:

It's 8 o clock, and my bath waters running
You say, choose your mood 'cause I'm coming, coming for ya
So into me, into you watching our fantasies interlude
Just wait, and take me deeper into your magnitude

Chorus:
Your love fits so high, I just can't get right without you
So deep in, I won't give in until I meet you

Second Verse:
Ding ding, round two, oh what you gonna do with that?
Ring, ring, ring, let it play in the background, till I get back down
All I can see, is you and me; facing off in this sea of purity
Get me stoned on your touch and high on your upthrust

Chorus:
Your love fits so high, I just can't get right without you
So deep in, I won't give in until I meet you

Bridge:
I'm falling into a melody I've never heard
Digging my thought a remedy I need before I speed off course,
Of course life is for living and saints turn to sinners when offered enough golden chalets to get their conscious spinning
So high in the heavens, this is beyond good and evil
Your love fits so high
Track Name: Pages (Spoken Word)
Tell me why
Explain to me 'cause this is bullshit
Excuse my language but how the hell can we get through this
Running into a brick wall and I free fall into a black hole of anger, pain and spite
But, forgive thy neighbor, right ?
When the hell is this gonna end, cos I can't pretend like this cycle is not a cycle, we recycle terms and rhymes, turn them into good times, apologies and long sighs, but eventually they subside and we end up here
Across the room, lost in a vacuum, where the hells the happiness we just had before we turned the TV on
What the hell just went wrong
Seconds ago we were body to body, tongue to tongue and suddenly all that joys gone
Miles away, but I still stay
What am I waiting for, a sorry, a don't worry, a short joke that's half funny
Where are we going? Why are we slowing down?
I couldn't say or even manage to half make an array of thoughts or similies for symmetry for what this is, or could be, what we feel or could see
But I'm still here, my heart beats 4 times faster, the road gets 10 times harder, harder than logarithm, I'm losing rhythm tryna stay on beat to this and keep to this, unwinding, unfantasizing road of disappointment and perfection, how messed up is this possession.
No such thing as goodbye but the door will fly when I hear get the fuck out,
Just not out of my life, well maybe days will fade into night ways and like wise our darker greys to sway into a light filled spray of peace and joy
And stay that way, cos this yoyo game of laying love with hate is pretty harsh on the brain
But let's hope and pray, no Mavado, cos God knows they'll be no other way if you walk away, and God knows my heart aches when you're far away, arms length in the physical, but we're on a different page
Track Name: Wish You Were With Me
Chorus:
You can't tell me that all that we had, meant nothing to you at all
And you can't tell me that look in your eyes was not in your eyes before, when you looked at me

I gotta watch you fade away, gaze into her eyes and fall
I'll fade into the background noise around you
Watching perfection unfold

Hook:
I just can't help but wish you were with me

Chorus:
You can't tell me that all that we had, meant nothing to you at all
And you can't tell me that look in your eyes was not in your eyes before, when you looked at me

Second Verse:
You made me feel, like nobody mattered but me
Now I'm stuck here alone, drawing blood from a stone
Tryna leave you in my memory

Hook:
I just can't help but wish you were with me

Now I regret letting go as I watch your love grow, I can't help but wish you were with me, wish you were with me
Track Name: Voicemail (Interlude)
Dear vivienne,

The bottom line is I'm not waiting anymore. You're gonna have to choose me or him. I can't be left hanging like this, its not nice. If you don't have the conviction to make a decision or u would be more comfortable staying in a relationship with him in london its ok. That's your choice at the end of the day. Just don't waste my time.

But if you do choose that, make sure you made the right decision because I'm not going to be waiting around like a fool for you. I'm just saying, me and you should be together. I can't stop thinking about us, and how special our relationship is. I'm not saying that I'm better than jemal because he is a nice man. What I'm saying is that we're better.

Time waits for no man, and I am not waiting for anything. I'm young, I've got one life to live and I'm not wasting time thinking about girls who waste my time. I want to be with you, you know that. I'm seeking clarity, not a half-hearted response. You're gonna have to decide who you want, me or him. What's it gonna be?
Track Name: Wait For Me
Baby, I know it's not that easy
But I'm asking you to have some faith in me
I know, I should have told you from the start
That you always had my heart
But I never and I never, thought we'd end up here
Secret lovers, under cover so I drown in my own tears
I gotta look him in his eyes and tell him that he's mine
When in the back of my mind, I'm dreaming of you
Won't you just wait for me (x3)
Track Name: Wait For Me (Interlude)
Dear vivienne,

The bottom line is I'm not waiting anymore. You're gonna have to choose me or him. I can't be left hanging like this, its not nice. If you don't have the conviction to make a decision or u would be more comfortable staying in a relationship with Jemal in london its ok. That's your choice at the end of the day. Just don't waste my time.

But if you do choose that, make sure you made the right decision because I'm not going to be waiting around like a fool for you. I'm just saying, me and you should be together. I can't stop thinking about us, and how special our relationship is. I'm not saying that I'm better than jemal because he is a nice man. What I'm saying is that we're better.

Time waits for no man, and I am not waiting for anything. I'm young, I've got one life to live and I'm not wasting time thinking about girls who waste my time. I want to be with you, you know that. I'm seeking clarity, not a half-hearted response. You're gonna have to decide who you want, me or him. What's it gonna be?
Track Name: Rebound (Spoken Word)
He said time wait for no man, guess man waits for no one
cos I'm on my lonesome, like a lost ones I'm out sprung into a whirl pool of confusion,
but can't express this, or let this, spill out verbally, mentally shut down, cut down till I'm literally dumb, and numb

I guess I need a lesson in expression cos deception of progression hides all of my depression and I know it
I know my mind shuts up and the shutters come down
I've got that poker face over this heartfelt frown
Each moment ticks my heart leaks tears, the tears are never checked
Its mixed with happiness and comfort but countered with regret
Chapter 1, scene 2, wished you were with me, said you wouldn't wait but its a lose lose, catch 22, so scrap that.
Stay faithful, stay true, theres a man that loves you...i can learn to love him back but yet
I feel my heart beat faster for a new lover, though the tempos not enough
Truth just isn't for us, but if God is for us who is against us you say, everybody, including you
you had enemies and frenemies, uncut strings and love felonies,
from lacy to mill, heart made of steel yet a cry for affection is all i could feel
nearly gave you my all, like a love struck teen on the last day of school, last day of term you gave me joy
that joy had no devotion, we stopped in between motion, what a sinful potion we passed around this table of deceit, you made me a cheat, and karma gave me it back and more because i left him to knock on your door only to find there was someone else that you made fall, for you, fool for you. i believed you when you said she was just a friend,
but she saw you with her so i had to let this go, i would't repeat history, all that glitters isn't gold so
Tried to be a friend and smooth things from this diamond in a rough
And all the while my heart Is throbbing for the wrong that I've done again, again
Its chapter 2, Scene 1, moved on swiftly to next one
Loaded an AK up with disregard each kiss let's off this gun
How can I fall into anothers arms, his brothers arms?
Yet to forget anothers past with me, when practically, you were almost everything that I need
Yet I speed off course of course into a buzz source and happened to find some more
But how can I enjoy, when I know I have done wrong
How can I endure if regret surely goes on
My mind can't hack the solitude of self inflicted pain
And there's no words or acts or prayer I can do to start again
two wrongs don't make a right, but they do make you even
That's a recipe for a rebound if you needed a reason
Track Name: Rebound
First Verse:
You gave me time when I felt I was losing me
Into these moments I flooded with misery
Drowning my sorrows or blowing away my tomorrows
You shined your light on me
Then my stability stayed in your grasp
Driven by selfishness you blocked my past
Shunning my present, I laid in your arms wanting you
Feeling vitruvian hands

Chorus:
And I, I could never guess that I couldn't forget this time
I could lay in your arms knowing you were not mine
When karma meets fate, what's fake will always fall down
When my heart's on my sleeve you were a rebound

Second Verse:
You played a melody sweeter than time
Time was our essence and lust was our guide
Wrapped in my broken beats I let you play my mind
My body was left to use
No sense of worth I was hoared like a tool
Reeping the fruits of an ignorant fool
Pain hit my chest as I rested this lost song to fade
To hear this vitruvian play

Chorus:
And I, I could never guess that I couldn't forget this time
I could lay in your arms knowing you were not mine
When karma meets fate, what's fake will always fall down
When my heart's on my sleeve you were a rebound

Bridge:
What a cycle of hurt, we hurt others the same
When it falls apart there is no one to blame
When the chorus is done, and the lies that we form fall to flames
Karma wins every game

Chorus:
And I, I could never guess that I couldn't forget this time
I could lay in your arms knowing you were not mine
When karma meets fate, what's fake will always fall down
When my heart's on my sleeve you were a rebound
Track Name: Scars (Spoken Word)
Before you know it you're scarred up with memories you can't get far from. And far from is only a half song away from
Getting back in that moment, the pain went but it always comes back again
An we try to pretend, block out the noise with some friends and pump the music so loud that we get lost in a crowd of melodies and similies that are similar to being free
But once the song ends your back here once again
So maybe this time we'll use a drink or some green seeds
Tryna clear my garden with some pure and untouched weeds, pun intended
But the rain will come an wash it away
And when you come back in the morning only one thing will stay and that's. The memories
how it feels to be used, how it feels to be a tool? a constant fool, somebody's inanimate, object
to have no prospect in anything above being appreciated for my physical, my visual presence seemed to be eminent in my very acceptance, this was reflected in my lack of confidence, and this was obvious to any predator of a human that crossed my path, and by human nature, we ended nowhere fast,
To be, young, dumb and naive, that was me,
to see every word as genuine, call me overdosed on oestrogen, i fell for every single sin painted with good intention
never learning my lesson, i lost my worth in giving others all i had and more, for free
the more i fell, the more i saw gateways to happiness and hell in the next ones doors, only to find the same anti climax i just endured, i was looking for love. a reason to be, a reason to live and feel free. a blanket of security to wrap me in stability
leaning on a shoulder that didn't see me, for me. Want me for me,
my rivers flowed toxic, i became immersed in this exotic expectation, and presentation of a person i was anticipated to be
until i realised that just wasn't me, my reflection radiated pain, i went insane, tryna remain in my safe terrain of being this girl who plays the game
knowing my spirit burned, and yearned to find a better place, so i had to let go, of guilt, self pity, being a Walter Mitty and come back to life, back to reality. i am a sinner, searching in vain.
How deep does it go cos every now and then it gets that bit easier to show, to overcome and let go, not use and abuse as an excuse to be cold
But then the guards fly straight back up and then you're back in these 4 walls with no calls and no laws to stop yourself breaking and taking every bit of experience to shield against this emptiness that continues to form, the memory of losing it all
To lose your worth is to lose your hope, to be used, abused and spirituality choked, i warn you brothers
if you strip your queens of their dignity you will crush your nations soul
Track Name: Love Me For Me
I'm not a trophy, I'm not a game
I'm not s'pose to be won, I'm not s'pose to be played (x4)

Why don't you love me? (x4)

I'm just a sinner, searching in vain
I've been searching for love and been finding this pain (x4)

Lord, why do you love me? (x6)
Track Name: Wait For You
First Verse:
Wandering down this dusty trail
Wondering how I got so lost and out of touch with this world
The more I pass the more I fail
But I know that patience is faith in You
And if I seek You, You'll see me through

Pre-chorus:
I will wait, for You
Said I will wait for You
You know I will wait for You
Till the ground falls in and the skies fall through I will wait for You

Chorus:
Now my pain's rooted deep with these scars on my chest
But I know that this road is all part of my test
All my days become nights, all my wars and my fights they remain
But I will find my wait with You

Second Verse:
Seems like the sunset failed to rise
And all of these smiling faces turn to shadows after this tide
The more I give, the more they fight
But I know that patience is love in truth
And through the darkness it will shine through

Pre-chorus:
I will wait, for You
Said I will wait for You
You know I will wait for You
Till the ground falls in and the skies fall through I will wait for You

Chorus:
Now my pain's rooted deep with these scars on my chest
But I know that this road is all part of my test
All my days become nights, all my wars and my fights they remain
But I will find my wait with You

I will find my way